Monday, June 5, 2017

Muted Tones + Summertime

Dress | made by me
Dusty Blue Heels | Target
Fringe Bag | Very Jane
Wire Wrap Bracelet | made by my mom

It's finally S U M M E R at the Smith house and we couldn't be more excited! I think we're all ready for endless amounts of play time, a little more mama time, freedom to be messier, a more relaxed schedule and more just plain carefree days. I really try not to make our days too stressed as it is but, there's something about summer that makes you want to take a deep breath in and just let it all go.

We started our break with a yummy breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes per the birthday boy's request (seriously, how do I have a NINE year old?!) and then a little piano practice before the boys delved into some very unstructured play and I began tackling some things I've been meaning to do for what seems like ages. Fun stuff, ya know. Like washing all of the bedding in the house, cleaning kitchen counters, making all of said beds and then some general tidying up that comes from weeks of jam packed days and full weekends. Then there was the usual, rotating loads of clothes through the washer and dryer so I can spend an hour an a half tomorrow folding and sorting it all, fitting in a workout (because I am SO VERY determined to make this my most fit summer ever), getting lunch done on time instead of the usual thirty to forty five minutes late because I've put it off and put it off and then lunchtime is upon us, trying my darndest not to indulge in the leftovers from yesterday's party and only failing just slightly, and all the other stuff that's running through my head but I just can't seem to stop my mind long enough to list it all.

Life is busy.

Glen and I also shot a wedding this past weekend. Possibly my last wedding EVER. And while that's a little sad because I so love documenting a couple's day and all of those amazing, once in a lifetime memories, trying to juggle a family and all of my daily duties along with scheduling six plus hours of childcare for four little ones can be pretty demanding and, in the end I sometimes find myself asking, "is it really worth it?". So, for now, I'm deciding to take a step back from the really big photography jobs and trying to focus more on the needs of my family. And, along with theirs, my own. It's so easy to say, "yes, yes, yes" to every open door and opportunity that, I feel like, to learn to say, "no" is something to be proud of. I recently turned down a wedding for the very first time since beginning my little business a few years ago and while I was immediately nervous and apprehensive about whether or not I made the right decision, I also felt this overwhelming sense of relief. I chose my family over a nice little paycheck and a day full of shooting. And that's a big step for me. But, I know I made the right choice.

Looking at our summer calendar right now, all I see are family trips, days in the sun, picnics in the backyard, hours driving the side by side, time soaking up these boys, and very few photo shoots. And I'm totally and completely okay with that. While I like the hustle and bustle of busy, bossgirl life, I love my family more and I'm going to be so intentional about giving them my best this summer. And for the rest of my life. Even if I fail, it will all be alright because I know through all the hard decisions and altered plans, my God is always. in. control.

I read somewhere, "What's the one thing you can give away that you'll never get back? You're time.". I want to remember how I spent my time this summer. When my boys are little enough that they still want me to do things with them and I'm young enough that I still have the energy to do it. Happy beginning of summer friends!! May your days be full of fun and silliness and may the memories abound!

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